McCainosaur

by David Letterman

After spending the last few weeks ripping pretty-boy Mitt Romney, David Letterman is now slinging comic barbs at septuagenarian John McCain:

“But seriously how about that John McCain? John McCain looks like a guy whose head you can barely see over the steering wheel. … John McCain looks like the guy who thinks the nurses are stealing his stuff. ‘Dad, why would they take your socks? It doesn’t make sense.’” –David Letterman

“How about that John McCain, huh? John McCain looks like the kind of guy who brags that his new denture adhesive allows him to eat corn on the cob. He looks like a guy who parked his RV overnight at Wal-Mart.” –David Letterman

“How about John McCain? He looks like a guy at a restaurant that says I’m leaving 10%, that’s good enough. John McCain, looks like the guy who goes to the curb for the paper and locks himself outside of the house.” –David Letterman

“John McCain … He looks like the guy that walks up to the mound to settle down a young pitcher. John McCain looks like the guy who picks up his TV remote when the phone rings.” –David Letterman “I like that John McCain. He looks like a guy who gets tickets for mowing under the influence. He looks like a guy with a collection of movies he bought at the car wash. He looks like a guy on the beach with a metal detector. He looks like the guy who is still confused by the phone answering machine: ‘Hello, is that - hello, is that you? Larry, Larry, hello?’ He looks like the guy who calls his grandson when he screws up the remote: ‘Well, now all the shows are in Spanish. What am I going to do, hello?’” –David Letterman

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